Stream of Weirdness

Ms. Valentino said stream of consciousness was an option, my mom just exclaimed "fish," if I stop or go back and edit, is it still stream of consciousness?  My sister just got a song stuck in my head and called me a liar, how rude of her, the cat pooped on the floor this morning, oops that is not a good thing to write probably Big Ben (cause I just thought of the text) but that makes me think of Ben because he's kind of big, or tall, that sounds more polite,

Mr. Morrison shouted woohoo very loudly at the buildOn thing last night his food was good all food is good no liver is not good; that awful cauliflower think my mom made once was so not good; ghost peppers are not good for me, I don't even like regular peppers; I just started thinking about the whole colored dress thing I saw gold and blue, combined the two options, I'm weird, apparently my night vision (according to Mr. Morrison after class) has two components, how quickly I can switch from cones to rods in my eyes and how good the rods are that is cool;

Also I learned from Michelle (spelling is questionable in English; sorry back to the point -> English had more conjugations in the past, the "thou" form was for informal "you", like "tú" en español.  Si escribo en Español, se lo enojará a Val?  Es Buena grammatica o not?  I speeled gramática incorrectly, and mispelled spelled, that's ironic.  Oh yeah, my sister has a book of Shakespearean insults, like "(hold on she's looking at her Shakespearean mug for an example): "O dolt! As ignorant as dirt!; foot-licker; not so much brain as earwax; veriest varlet that ever chewed with a tooth; anointed sovereign of sighs and groans" that's probably too many

I need to incorporate a textual quote I think I'll use one from Septimus's ruminations on beauty (hah cows ruminate so do deer) ooh good Segway no why did it auto-capitalize Segway ahh again darn that anyway (wait is the mall-cop think a Segway, that thingymabob with wheels?) sorry I got distracted, which is part of the fun of this style of writing, I guess, anyway, I saw a deer that was my Segway I saw a deer at the nature center today volunteering as a Maple Syrup tree-doer (me volunteering, not the deer) anyway this dear ran back and forth, and one of the old people scoffed about how people at the nature center get so excited about the dear, since it's common to him, since he sees them often.  This is like the this is water speech from first semester; the old fart failed to note the beauty in it (actually, he's a nice old dude, I shouldn't have called him a fart, but I'm trying not to censor my thoughts as I write this shoot thinking of that made me think of swear words, then sex, why people like either is beyond me, anyway the old guy thinks that because he's seen deer many times he shouldn't appreciate the joy and surprise of a deer running by anymore, but he's forgetting to see the water, silly old fish, actually that makes him the opposite of the old fish in the story.  The "favorite quote", one anyway, that I chose when we shared them in class was when Septimus, even as he contemplates his own doom, sees beauty in the everyday things around him.  "We welcome, the world seemed to say; we accept; we create"(Woolf 69): Septimus sees beauty in ordinary things, like flies and grass stalks, finding all the ordinary stuff about him "the truth" (Woolf 69)  As he says, beauty, that [is] the truth now: Beauty is everywhere (Woolf 69).

Picture credit to whoever took it so it was on http://m4.i.pbase.com/o6/22/137422/1/120649404.HWoaYlYe.IMGP8168copy6.jpg



Identity

            A person’s identity is strongly influenced by her or his culture, as we might assume.  What we often fail to take into account is that we all live in distinct cultures far more plethoric than those that can be put on a map or on a timeline.  Chinese, Egyptian, American, Mongolian – these are what most people think of as cultures.  I suggest, however, that a culture is any group that has characteristics that unite it.

            If you participate in clubs, sports, or really any activity as part of a group, you are a member of – and thus shaped by – that culture.  Religions, languages, and ethnicities influence individuals as well.  Geographic location, social class, government type; the list of realms of interpersonal representation and communication is endless.  Consequently, each individual belongs to innumerable cultures that struggle for dominance in the fight to control the individual’s identity; this chaotic battle is what makes attempts to follow the “be yourself” adage so convoluted.

            Meena Alexander contemplates the amalgam of cultures she finds within herself when she asks, “What might in mean to look at myself straight, see myself?  How many different gazes would that need?” (Alexander, in her autobiography Fault Lines)  Alexander feels the pull of so many disparate societal influences that she feels her identity is fractured, split into a piece for each culture she has been a part of.  It is arduous, if not theoretically impossible, to determine a singular and specific “gaze” that sees all that there is to see about a person.  Keep this in mind … the side of a person that you see is but one part of his or her identity.

Right in Wrong; Wrong in Right

We all have different definitions of the difference between right and wrong.  Family, friends, teachers, coaches, religious figures, and society as a whole constantly shape our perception.  From the time we are old enough to comprehend language, we are dragooned by a ceaseless barrage of stories meant to teach us lessons about how to live life.  Share, be humble, work hard; the moral teachings are relentless.  However, as we grow older, we learn that right and wrong are not two disparate lands separated by a barrier of unyielding steel.  Rather, the boundary appears quite malleable, and concrete definitions for right and wrong seem elusive.

            What’s the difference between cheating and using resources cleverly?  What’s the difference between lying and keeping a different perspective on the truth?  What’s the difference between stealing and taking something rightfully earned through skill and effort?  What’s the difference between murder and fighting for a cause?   Period. Exclamation mark!  (Parentheses)  Colon: There, now I don’t feel like I used a disproportionate amount of question marks.

            To relate to the piece we wrote our essays on this week in class (and to keep my post a length people are willing to read), I’ll focus on the concept of stealing.  The author defined sin as “what you took and didn’t give back.”  Interestingly enough, stealing is one moral issue that our society teaches is acceptable in some circumstances, glorifying it with the many tales of Robin Hood and his merry men.  They steal money and goods from those who have plenty and give to those who need it more, a lifestyle that is considered heroic and good.  But wait … isn’t stealing “wrong”?  If a hacker today takes money from billionaire bank accounts and gives it to those dying of starvation and thirst, or uses it to end fighting, or spends it to protect endangered animals – is the hacker sinning?  The hacker takes – but the hacker gives back. 

I suppose my view on morals in general, put succinctly, is thus: If you do good, that’s good.  Means and methods may be considered bad, but I believe that a person can do bad things, for a good reason, and be a good person.  I would imagine morals not as right and wrong, but right in wrong.  If there is right in something called “wrong,” it can be justified.  The problem is that this view means anything at all can be justified.  If I remove an incompetent leader to save a political state, that could be right.  If I cheat on test to get good grades to get a good job where I can do stuff to help the world, that could be right.  If I steal to give to a cause that helps people, that could be right.  If I give back, then that is the right in the wrongs I might do.

But … I don’t kidnap the idiots to put new people in charge.  I don’t cheat on tests.  I don’t illegally redistribute wealth to benefit other people.  Why?  Because I’ve been trained to do what is fairy-tale good, not real-world good; Justice System good, not God’s good.  As much as I know that in the long run, a choice in question may lead to greater good than another choice, I often choose the choice parents, teachers, and laws say is right, even if in my heart I suspect an alternative is truly best.  My hope is that God forgives my “right” decisions, and I pray for the strength to make the right decision in God’s view, however “wrong” it may be, when God wills it.

It’s probably right to stop editing now; have a fantastic day.

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